Chicago Home and Lifestyles – Raising emotionally intelligent children

Technology is a gift with many benefits for young children, like helping them learn new things, improve their grades, and excel at extracurricular activities. But, it doesn’t take the place of loving training from a parent. Parents need to take time to teach their children to be emotionally intelligent. That way, their kids can grow into resilient and empathetic adults who can navigate challenges, have meaningful relationships, and successful lives. The following are strategies to foster these healthy habits:

Talk about your feelings. Early in your child’s development, try to set a time and place where everyone in the family can express their feelings. Be sure to also express yours calmly and openly in front of your children.  This will not only teach them how to express themselves, but that it is safe to do so and that their feelings are normal. 

Understand that sometimes silence is best. When your child is upset, you can offer comfort without speaking. Sit quietly beside them and let them reflect on their emotions without pushing them to open up. It helps them to process their feelings without pressure.

Apologize to your child when necessary. It shows we all make mistakes, and we are strong when we take responsibility. It also makes the child feel valued. It shows how to repair relationships and fosters empathy. 

Don’t force pleasantries. Saying “Please” and “thank you” is better taught through example. So, say these things yourself in front of them regularly—even if you have to exaggerate a little! And if a child forgets to say thank you, say it for them and the lesson will stick over time. 

Encourage children to make their own decisions, within reason. Instead of fixing all their problems this boosts independence, confidence, and critical thinking. We all know of helicopter parents that would like to fix any problems, but this creates adults that are unable to exist on their own.

Know that it is ok to be bored sometimes. Children need to learn to be comfortable with stillness. They need to be able to enjoy their own company and find simple joy in things like looking out the window of the car instead of staring at a screen. This teaches creativity, problem-solving skills, and self-regulation. 

Most importantly, focus on building a relationship built on respect and trust. They need to know they can come to you, no matter what. They need to feel valued, safe and understood!

Kathleen Weaver-Zech and Dean’s Team Chicago