Frustrated millennial female worker sitting at table with colleagues, feeling tired of quarreling at business meeting

Chicago Home and Lifestyles – How regulating your emotions becomes a leadership tool

/in , /by
Frustrated millennial female worker sitting at table with colleagues, feeling tired of quarreling at business meeting

Staying calm during times of stress is one of the best leadership tools you can possess. It means you can foster a good work environment even during difficult times. Psychiatrists call this state “the window of tolerance”. How does it work?

The window of tolerance is the optimal zone where you continue to think clearly, respond thoughtfully, and stay present even under pressure. When you are in the window you will still be stressed—but you will be able to stay grounded. 

Stress can often push us beyond our limits. We shift into survival mode. This can be presented in two different ways:

  • When we are above the window you are hyper aroused where fight or flight modes reign. Emotions are intense, you may experience anger, anxiety or sleeplessness. You’re on the defense. 
  • Below the window is hypoarousal, survival strategy is to freeze. You are emotionally flat and withdrawn, making it hard to engage with others. You avoid tasks like responding to emails and may shut down in a meeting. You are not responding from a calm grounded space. 

You can increase your window of tolerance. You can build your self-awareness to develop ways to stay calm under pressure:

  • Improve your awareness with regular check-ins. Ask yourself how you are doing every day and recognize when you have an internal shift. 
  • Label what you are feeling so that you can process it. 
  • Use coping tools to help during pressure situations. You can practice deep breathing along with meditation. Simply taking a pause or stepping away briefly when you are being overwhelmed can help you cope with stress thereby widen your tolerance window

Remember to be kind to yourself in the process. Self-criticism only makes you more stressed. It takes time to develop these strategies. You will find yourself showing up more consistently and recovering faster. You will understand more where you are in the window—just be patient. 

The awareness of where you are in the window is half the battle. It will help you show up in difficult conversations and be calm under pressure. It will help you and your team move through change, conflict or crises. 

Kathleen Weaver-Zech and Dean’s Team Chicago