Chicago Home and Lifestyles – Splitting household chores equitably

Yes, it’s 2022 and we feel we have come far in equalizing the two sexes. However, research shows that women still shoulder the brunt of the housework. Even when the woman makes more money, she spends more hours per week taking care of the house than her male partner. Even among roommates, it’s found that the person who is most “bothered” by a mess should clean it. So, it’s not just domestic partners who need to wake up about sharing housework! 

We all have a different idea of what “clean” is. The person with the lower tolerance for mess is often the one that tackles the chores. If you are that person in your household, you need to have a serious discussion. It can open with “I think it would be good for our relationship if we could talk about expectations about the organization and cleanliness of our space. Would you be open to that?”. Make your preferences known. Showers clean of hair? No dishes in the sink? Beds made? Do not assume that others have the same idea of cleanliness that you do! Having a discussion can reveal much about ourselves. Talk about what chores you were responsible for in your childhood. That can have a great impact on how you feel about chores today. When it comes down to it, our belongings and surroundings deserve respect. 

When everyone has agreed to a standard of cleanliness, it will be easier to delegate chores. There are different ways to tackle this. A spreadsheet can work, with all tasks listed with each person having a column. You can divide according to a person’s schedule or what they prefer to do. There are also chore apps you can use that can provide notifications. Or a dry erase board can be used with chores color coded that can change weekly according to schedules. We also must realize we may think we can do certain tasks “better” than our housemate, but learn to appreciate the time and effort others put into the task and how it makes our lives easier. 

Parents: start with children when they are quite young. Even toddlers can learn to pick up their toys and put their dirty clothes in a hamper. Revisit chores every six months or so, especially with small children who may be able to take on more responsibility. While children need to know that helping out is part of being in a family, it’s still fine to give small rewards for chores. A trip to the ice cream shop or a small allowance works wonders to keep children interested. We can all agree our goal is to make our homes easier to live in! So do what you can, individually and collectively, to make your space the most enjoyable place to live.

Kathleen Weaver-Zech and Dean’s Team Chicago