Chicago Home and Lifestyles – You can succeed at “Small Talk”

Offices are opening up and many are now required to work in-office as opposed to remotely. This may prove to be a challenge for those who have gotten used to communicating via Zoom. This can be especially true for introverts. The art of small talk is a skill that even the most accomplished have trouble with. However, it is a necessary skill to have in today’s business world. Whether around the conference table before a meeting or at a business cocktail party; you’ll want to hone in on this skill. Avoid the following mistakes to ensure your small talk is top tier.

First, never assume no one wants to talk to you. People, especially now, are eager to make a connection. I know many of us feel very shy; but if possible think of the other person, as opposed to thinking of yourself. Think that you are doing a service. After months with so little interaction, we need the small talk. 

Do not try to start a conversation without something to say. If you see someone lost in thought, ask if it’s ok to talk to them. Make sure to have a formed sentence or comment ready when they answer in the affirmative. A simple “How do you like being back in the office?” or “I’m so glad to be out of the house” will give a comfortable opportunity for someone to respond.

Do not barge in. Wait for a lull in an existing conversation to enter. When you have someone’s attention, you can offer your thoughts. Also be aware of your spacing, especially now. No one is expecting six feet but do not stand too close. 

Stay away from controversial subjects. It is hard to do that now with so much of our daily lives tied up in the pandemic. It seems, unfortunately, what is a public health crisis has thrown us all into two or more camps that only care to hear what they want. So, keep it light. 

Do not be hard to understand or follow. Those of us who speak many languages can speak slower and try to enunciate carefully. Those of us who only speak English, should also speak clearly and avoid slang expressions that others may not understand. If you are asked what you do for a living, do not take five minutes to answer. Have a simple two or three sentence explanation. 

Be aware if you are getting too personal. There is a saying that people love to talk about themselves, and this is generally true, but if you get the sense your questions are not particularly welcome, back off a bit. Perhaps ask them if they have been out to any restaurants or what was their favorite new pastime during quarantine.

Do give all your attention, don’t waste peoples time. Maintain eye contact. Put your phone on silent and put it away for a bit. Don’t look over their shoulder as if you need to be rescued. Be present. 

Some people view small talk as insincere or an old-fashioned nicety. But every friendship or business deal begins with an initial conversation. No, it may not have been profound but at least you made a connection.

Kathleen Weaver-Zech and Dean’s Team Chicago