Chicago Home and Lifestyles – 6 coping strategies to help regulate emotions

There is a life skill that we should all know, but sadly few of us do: self-soothing. It slows down emotional reactions and helps you avoid impulsive decisions. It becomes even more important as we get older because our lives are busier and more stressful. Here are a few ways to cope with stress and regulate your emotions:  

Pause and acknowledge your stress. Place your hand on your stomach and think: ‘I’m feeling stressed out’. This thought and touch can make you feel more grounded. 

Use a calming object or sense. Sometimes something physical or tangible can distract you from an intense emotion. Using a fidget toy to regulate. Perhaps the lovely smell of candles or essential oils. You can even visualize a calming place or focus on your breathing. 

Change what you’re looking at. Move your head to the right and slowly move your head up and down. Repeat on the left side. This reminds us that there’s no emergency, we are safe. This is based on research on bilateral eye movements. It activates more logical parts of your brain. It tamps down the threat response. 

Try pressure to ground yourself. Press your feet firmly onto the floor and feel the support. Notice how the floor feels, focus on the bottom of your feet then the top. You can also ground by pressing the palms of your hands together and feel the sensation. Increase and decrease the pressure. This helps shift focus again to our body and puts you into a calmer space. 

Bilateral stimulation. This technique is used in trauma therapies. Cross your arms and place your hands on the opposite shoulder. Slowly tap right then left, six times. Take a long deep breath then repeat. (If you’re in public, just tap your toes left and right). 

Cognitive Behavior Therapy. Thought challenging skills can tamp down emotions by looking at the facts and finding better ways to think about a situation. Maybe you’re on a first date or going to a business meeting. Your mind immediately goes to, “I’m going to mess this up”. Stop and think, what evidence supports that? In time you will reframe with something more helpful like, “I’ve been here before and I know how to handle it”. It’s the way to learn how to stop and think before you react!

Do you have any tried and true ways you self-soothe?

Kathleen Weaver-Zech and Dean’s Team Chicago