It is possible to have a conversation where you don’t agree but neither of you becomes defensive. We can’t always control somebody’s reaction to a situation. It’s natural to defend yourself if you feel your beliefs are being threatened. So, while not everyone who enters a conversation intends to be civil, there are a few things we can do proactively to help the situation. 

Be mindful of your language. Not only bad language but the way we say things can have a great effect. Avoid shaming or blaming the other person; even using the words “you should” can cause someone to become angry or defensive. Perhaps a person is not entirely confident in their position on a matter. So, always think before you speak.

Avoid telling someone else what to do, how to feel, or give unsolicited advice. In society today, we are sometimes so focused on getting our own ideas out that we don’t remember there are other perspectives to consider. Share your experience, and use just those words, “This has been my experience”. Be willing to be vulnerable and to expect the other party to push back. When you do get pushback it’s good to diffuse the situation. You can say, “I might be hitting a nerve, that’s not my intention. If you are uncomfortable, we don’t have to talk about it.” Just keep yourself from getting defensive too. 

Think about your motives before starting a conversation you know might make another defensive. Do you just want to push your position? If the conversation needs to be had, start it out with an open-ended question, “Tell me more about that, I’d like to know your views.” This shows humility, grace, and a sense of openness. If you do this, you have a much better chance of getting a good response rather than a defensive one. If everybody came to the table with the concept of having a civil conversation, the world would be a much better place. 

Kathleen Weaver-Zech and Dean’s Team Chicago

As we enter the month of December, Chicago is pulling out all the stops this Holiday Season for one and all to have a joyful and memorable time!  So, let’s get started with this weekend’s batch of holiday favorites!!

Calling all Santas!  It’s time again to compete for the gold medal during the Santa Hustle® Chicago 5K & Kids Dash this Saturday at Soldier Field (1410 S. Museum Campus Dr.) in the South Loop.  The Kids Dash will start (8:30 a.m.) and finish at the Finish Line in front of Soldier Field with each Kids Dash participant receiving a Santa Hat, a Santa Beard, a Race Bib, and a Finisher Medal.  The 5K will start at 9:00 a.m. with each 5K participant receiving a cozy and comfy Unisex Hoodie, a Santa Hustle embroidered Beanie, and a Snow Globe Finisher Medal.  Plus, there will be cookie and candy stations, one water/aid station and volunteers passing out goodies and keeping spirits high along the course!  And there’s even more cookies at the finish line – Ho-Ho-Ho!!

Come One, Come All to the return of Chicago’s Ugly Sweater Bar Crawl this Saturday (3 p.m.-10 p.m.) at various River North neighborhood bars.  Your general admission ticket includes door cover charges waived, up to 50% off beers and well drinks, up to 25% off select foods, free entrance to 5+ bars, holiday themed drinks, an Ugly Sweater contest, DJs & entertainment at select bars, and more!  So, dig out your fav holiday ugly sweater, or a Santa suit, elf costume, or a holiday-themed onesie, and get dashin’ through the bars!!

Join in on the fun aboard Santa’s BYOB Holiday Lights Tour Luxury Bus now through December 30^th departing from Rizzo’s Bar & Inn (3658 N. Clark St.) in the Wrigleyville neighborhood as you are taken to and from some of Chicago’s most memorable attractions in a 4-hour tour aboard a climate-controlled luxury party bus.  Also included in this adventure is a complimentary Chili and Mac & Cheese buffet at Rizzo’s; one of Santa’s elves onboard the bus making sure all guests are having a blast; and express entry admission tickets to the Lincoln Park ZooLights and the Christkindlmarket in The Loop!  Plus, other attractions you can view from the comfort of the party bus are Macy’s holiday windows, The Magnificent Mile, Millennium Park’s Christmas Tree, and Chicago’s famous State Street!!

Finally, the Holiday Season wouldn’t be complete without the following holiday pop-up bars and others!

The Grinch’s Pop-Up Bar is located at Moe’s Cantina (3518 N. Clark St.) in the Wrigleyville neighborhood now through December 29^th.  There will be delicious Mexican cuisine to warm you up with their specialty food menu in addition to the unmatched holiday ambience!  Plus, bring the whole family as kids are welcome before 9:00 p.m.!!

Frosty’s Ultimate Pop-Up Christmas Bar takes place in Goose Island at 809 W. Evergreen Avenue on the Near North Side now through January 1, 2023.  They have decked the halls on three levels for festive Christmas fun that includes four bars offering sensational seasonal cocktails, two dance floors, life-size toy soldiers, and a themed soundtrack to keep the crowd bumping until 4:00 a.m.!  In addition, there are photo ops for tons of awesome, picture-perfect moments, having a visit with Santa to find out if you were naughty or nice, and more!!

8 Crazy Nights is Chicago’s first Hanukkah-themed pop-up located at The Graystone Tavern (3441 N. Sheffield Ave.) in the Lakeview neighborhood now through January 8, 2023.  Both the bar and the enclosed, weatherproof patio will be decorated with dreidel ornaments, lighted menorah décor, a photo booth, and over 8,000 blue and white lights along with a special food menu as well as a playful drink menu!

Sue Moss and Dean’s Team Chicago

Is there anything more elegant than an afternoon spent shopping with friends and family, then sitting down for a soothing cup of tea and delicious sandwiches and baked treats? And what better way to teach your children sophisticated table manners after seeing Santa? 

According to Historic UK.com, afternoon tea was introduced in England by Anna, the seventh Duchess of Bedford, in 1840. The Duchess would become hungry around four o’clock in the afternoon. The evening meal was served at 8pm, leaving a long period of time between lunch and dinner. The Duchess asked that a tray of tea, bread and butter (some time earlier, the Earl of Sandwich had had the idea of putting a filling between two slices of bread) and cake be brought to her room during the late afternoon.

I was fortunate to be introduced to afternoon tea in the isle of origin. On a high school trip to England, we spent a long day shopping at Harrod’s, the famed department store. They had an elegant tea room, and my friends and I were seated with far more respect than was usually afforded a group of American teens. We probably gobbled our dainty finger sandwiches, petit fours, and cookies, and gulped our tea selections awfully fast. “This is a fabulous idea,“ I thought. “Why aren’t we doing this in Chicago?”

While it may not have been quite so popular then, Chicago now has many options for an afternoon respite, to fit a variety of budgets.

At the Gold Coast’s Drake Hotel, 140 E. Walton Place, holiday tea service in the Palm Court and Club International is reserving now through January 8. The $74/ $78/$35 tea service includes such three-tiered delicacies as Roasted Turkey with fig-whipped brie and smoked pumpernickel, bourbon smoked salmon with cream cheese and apple agro dolce, followedby cranberry orange scones and chocolate eggnog bread pudding. More delectable cakes and treats await you!A live harpist and holiday carolers will perform on select dates through Christmas. The Prince & Princess Afternoon tea service, for children ages 3-12 is available throughout the afternoon. For more information and reservations, click here. 

In the shadows of the wreathed lions at the Art Institute, a proper Eastern European tea awaits you and your family and friends at the Russian Tea Time Restaurant, 77 E. Adams Street. Available daily from 11am–7:30pm, the $35.95 Afternoon Tea and Samovar Service included one pot of tea, beginnings, savories and sweets. Menus vary daily. Samovar Service includes a pot of tea for a group of three and more. One reviewer described the atmosphere. “The restaurant has traditional Russian décor, sedate with classical music with a subdued and relaxing atmosphere.“ For information and reservations, click here. 

Afternoon Tea during the festive season at Streeterville’s The Peninsula Chicago, 108 East Superior Street, features a 20-foot Christmas tree through December 31 and lavish décor through January 8 for their $135/$150/$75 (for children) traditional holiday English tea menu, including a variety of finger sandwiches, such as Lobster & Shrimp Sandwich, withstrawberry, dill, lemon zest, mint, oval bread, followed by a Gingerbread Yule Log. Many other surprises await! For reservations, click here. 

At LondonHouse Chicago, 85 E. Wacker Drive, their nontraditional tea takes place in the Bridges Lobby Bar on the second floor, and comes with “spectacular views” of the Chicago River. The service begins with a selection of Rare Tea Cellars and Sparrow Coffee teas, followed by a basket of fresh scones and breads with accoutrements. Then,  three-tiered tower is filled with “savory and sweet bites.” River Vista Holiday Tea service is $85 for adults and $45 for kids (ages 10 and under). Holiday Tea runs until January 15. For reservations and information, click here. 

Sadly, The Walnut Room at Macy’s, 111 N. State Street, had sold out its holiday teas long before Thanksgiving (we checked.) That said… use this link for information about signing up for their Canceled Reservations alerts. And good luck! 

Alison Moran-Powers and Dean’s Team Chicago

For decades, homeowners have covered their homes in the same two colors during the last month of the year. Greenery has long been used as the base color, with bold splashes of red to provide contrast. Colors like gold, silver, and white often creep in, but green and red almost always predominate.

In recent years, however, people have begun questioning those traditions, moving toward new ways of decorating the home for the holiday season. Instead of throwing up a green tree with the same decorations everyone uses, homeowners can find unique ways to celebrate the season. Here are some contemporary decorating ideas to try this year.

Create a Winter Wonderland

Over the years, snow has become closely linked with holiday images. Blanketing your home in white can create a peaceful, winter-like glow that will be more celebratory than red and green ever could. If your family uses an artificial tree, consider exchanging the tried-and-true green with a stark white tree. For those who prefer real trees, a snow-flocked tree can create a similar effect. Top the tree off with white and silver ornaments and white lights and the result will be a glow that will give your home warmth throughout the season.

Go Homemade

Anyone can go to a department store and fill a cart with Christmas decorations. Instead consider creating your own decorations this year. You’ll find they’re much more charming than store-bought items ever could be and you’ll have the fun of crafting together as a family. If you aren’t the arts and crafts type or you simply don’t have time, visit a local craft fair or shop Christmas decorations on Etsy. You’ll be supporting talented crafters while filling your home with one-of-a-kind decorations.

Make It a Golden Year

Gold has become an increasingly popular color for the holiday season, whether through ornaments, or decorations throughout the house. Gold decorations have a classy appeal while still being festive. They also go well with greenery, especially when that greenery is trimmed with white lights. If you choose gold for your tree, keep it simple by using white lights and white or cream trim. Use gold candleholders and trim to cover surfaces like fireplace mantels and tabletops and find a gold centerpiece for your dining room table.

Lose the Tree

Although Christmas trees are Christmas staples, some homeowners have learned that they can decorate for the holidays without the tree. Whether you’re living in a small space that doesn’t allow room for a tree or you simply want to skip the hassle of purchasing, setting up, and discarding or storing a tree, there are creative ways to decorate without it. You could decorate an existing plant, use wall decals, or create Christmas trees out of other objects.

Traditional Christmas decorations are only the beginning. With a little creativity, homeowners can push themselves to create a unique holiday look that will be both classy and festive. Even if you already have boxes full of decorations, you can add to your traditional décor with a few touches that will elevate your holiday look to a new level.

Eighty years ago this month, (1942), World War II was raging across Europe and Asia. Back home in Chicago, to honor the brave spirit of soldiers ‘across the pond,’ at Hyde Park’s Museum of Science and Industry (MSI), 5700 S. DuSable Lake Shore Drive, curators decorated a single tree with ornaments representing celebrations around the world. The tree was newly decorated every day for 12 days to represent the countries fighting alongside America during World War II. 

It was a unifying gesture during a time when nations were divided, and the exhibit proved popular enough to return year after year. 

Today, ‘Christmas Around the World and Holidays of Light Exhibit,‘ features more than 50 trees highlighting a variety of countries and cultures, offering insight into the holiday customs celebrated by families around the world. These trees and displays are decorated by volunteers from around the Chicagoland area to represent the holiday traditions from cultures around the globe. 

According to MSI’s website, the centerpiece surrounded by this dazzling display is the four-story, floor-to-dome Grand Tree in the Museum’s Rotunda. You and your family can also explore Holidays of Light, a celebration of global holidays throughout the year that honor light and enlightenment.

“What makes it so special, is it brings different communities together to actually celebrate holidays and actually be able to understand how each culture celebrates their holidays,” said Chevy Humphrey, MSI President and CEO, to ABC7Chicago at its opening last week. 

For its 80^th Anniversary, museum visitors, young and old, will experience a four-story, floor-to-dome Grand Tree surrounded by more than 50 other trees and displays. Each surrounding tree is decorated to represent holiday traditions in other cultures around the world. Holidays of Light celebrates holidays and cultures that use light, like Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Diwali, and Saint Lucia Day.

“Perhaps most notable is the grand 45-foot tall tree with more than 45,000 lights!” wrote Kidlista fewyearsago. “While observing the tree on the main floor, guests can be a part of a “snowfall” that takes place every 30 minutes during the holiday season. It’s especially exciting for little kids, so be sure not to miss it! My kids loved seeing the pretend snow falling from the ceiling and it created a magical ambiance for them.”

For the Thanksgiving holiday weekend, the museum will host special hours. Closed on Thanksgiving, they will reopen on Friday, November 25 – Sunday, November 27 from 9:30 am–5:30pm. 

For the rest of the holiday season, they’re open 9:30am-4pm daily through January 4, 2023. ‘Christmas Around the World’ is free with museum admission; $21.95/ages 12-plus, $12.95/ages 3-11, free/2 and under. To purchase tickets and learn more, click here. 

Happy Thanksgiving and holiday season to all! At Dean’s Team Chicago, we’re thankful for you!! 

Alison Moran-Powers and Dean’s Team Chicago